I can't believe it has been as long as it has since I posted in here but I didn't want to have a post so down in the dumps and then I finally came to the conclusion that sometimes this is the only place I have to go to talk about things that are on my mind.
Well the main thing on my mind here lately is I have no friends around here. All my friends are online and there is nothing wrong with that considering they are wonderful friends but sometimes I really need to be face to face with a person and just hang out. I don't have this and it really sucks sometimes especially when Chris is working late which he does a lot lately. I wouldn't even have a clue how to meet someone around here and become friends with them.
I am really starting to give up hope on something I want so badly and I hate that I am doing this. Maybe I am nuts for feeling the way I do. Guess it would help if I explained it. After my divorce I always knew I would want to get married again. No I didn't expect for it to happen right away and am fine with that because I wanted to just go out and have a good time. Well on my 30th birthday I had my first date with such a wonderful man. I never knew that I would fall so in love with this man. We have been together ever since that date. We have spent the past two years together and I have loved every minute of it. I want to move to the next step. I want him to ask me to marry him. He knows I want it and he says he wants it to but what I don't understand is why he hasn't asked me. My kids love him and he loves my kids so that isn't an issue there. I have gotten to the point where I am ready to give up and I don't want to. I mean heck I am not asking him to marry me tomorrow. I just want the next step in a committed relationship. I feel like I am never going to get it. I have told him that I will not live with him for the rest of my life and I mean it. I just don't understand how if he says he loves me as much as he does then how come... how come he won't commit? This really kills me inside some days.
Ok lets see if I can get on some better news. I weighed in on Saturday morning I am down to 146.6 pounds. That means I am down 14 pounds since my origininal weigh in. So this is all wonderful news. As of my weigh in on Saturday I had lost 2.2 pounds from the week before. So this is all wonderful news. I got 15.4 more pounds to go to reach my goal.
Kids are on spring break this week and are with their dad. So I have an entire week to myself. I was looking forward to some me time but not so much anymore. Well it wasn't gonna be all me time. I was looking forward to some me and Chris time. Well now he is leaving for Houston tomorrow and probably not gonna be home until Thursday or Friday.
Well I went to the doctor on Monday because I was feeling really strange. I was weak, shaky, tired and just not myself. Best way to explain it is this is how I feel when my sugar is low. I ate something sweet and hoped to feel better but I didn't. Chris takes me to CareNow and they run some tests. Well come to find out my glucose was a little high... 101.. but I didnt think that was high and they also said my calcium was a little high. They want me to come back in about 4-6 weeks and retest. So for now I am keeping an eye on my sugar levels myself and keeping a journal of it and will go from there.
Well anyway, I am gonna get off here for the night. Until I blog again.
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